An Unexpected New Season

Oof. Looking back to the last date I’ve written, it’s been AGES. I think I should not wait for inspiration to hit me before I write, but I should make it an aim to at least write a blog once a week, or once a month, that’s better than once in a year lol.

It’s the 2nd November, the last month before the new season: Summer. Yet, personally I’ve already stepped into a new season, way unexpected and way too fast, hitting me like a crashing wave I’m still trying to catch my breath. But here we are, still breathing, taking in the moment and embracing the season even though right now it’s quite a strange season. It’s waves crashing against me full force, yet its peaceful winds blowing in the air. It’s so bittersweet. What’s new you might ask? Well…

New house🔥🤞
Baptism on Saturday🥹
New job💃
Newly single.❤‍🩹

A lot of new things in November for the start of November, yes all of that happened within this week. Some things I expected and got ready for and other things I never saw coming.

I never thought I’d end up single after 3 months of investing in someone. I can’t lie my heart is broken. My heart is sore. But I know my heart will go on (catch the reference).

It sucks. A heartbreak and a break up you never saw coming sucks. I never imagined my life without the one person I absolutely love and adore and would do anything for. In this case, I wish I did better. He deserved better. I don’t blame him for walking away even though I wish he stayed. I reflected on what happened, what went wrong, where did I go wrong, what could I have done better to be a better girlfriend, what could we have done better to be a better couple. We were a passion filled with fire yet so much miscommunications. The healing is still raw and I’m still healing. But that’s a blog for another day.

Baptism. Sjoe. I’m ready for it. My flesh hates it and tried so hard to stop me from doing it, afraid I might make a fool of myself by getting baptized and messing up again. Can’t wait to do it. My spirit is leaping at the thought. I’m about to bury the old man and rise anew just like my Saviour. It is intimate yet public. It is a public declaration to the world that I am done with my passed life and ready to start a new, a new creation in Christ Jesus. This is exciting. This is joyous. Despite everything else happening around me this is a victory. I might write on the beauty and purpose of water baptism as a whole in another blog. 😉

12 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.

13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,

Colossians 2:12-13

A new home. Oof, can’t lie I miss my old home. But there’s something beautiful about just starting new. A new environment, so peaceful. A stone throw away from the beach. Yet it’s not a permanent home, oh how I wish it were. It’s temporary. A rental while my family finds it’s feet. But I am content in the moment. I am happy and blessed knowing I have a roof over my head, a place to stay and enough room to breathe. With stunning mountain views.

A new job. I never really thought I’d end up working full time, the plan was to complete my studies at UCT, screen production major, making movies and living my dream. But then one hard knock of a setback through an email, “you will not be funded” hit me. It was one thing I did not see coming, it hit me in the middle of second semester. I was thriving, I was building a portfolio for myself and just like that I was stopped. I had the choice to let it go and start somewhere new, perhaps that is what God wants or I could take out a study loan and find myself in huge debt. I chose to take the first route, because maybe, just maybe, I was building for my own kingdom, for my own empire and not even thinking of God. (But that, my dear friend, is a blog post for another day!!) Now embracing this new job, I smile at the thought. So ready to go earn the bag. Lol, on a serious note this is the first step to stability I’ve had in years. And I’m trusting that it’s not just a job, but it’s a purpose. God has a purpose for me being there and He will lead me and guide me as He sees fit to speak to the hearts of those who are in need of Him. I look forward to the journey.

So to sum up, I’m in a brand new season and I have no idea how to navigate around it. It’s bittersweet. A heartache and an exciting new journey. Some things I wish I could not have in this season, because the fear of the unknown is so real. But that’s where faith and trust and hope comes in. Faith in knowing He works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Trust in knowing His plans are good and they are not to harm but to prosper. (Jer 29:11) and hope in knowing that despite what may come He will never leave nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5)

Well, that’s all for now I guess. Hopefully, the next blog will be next week and not next year, (hold me accountable, will you?)

Remember, no matter what season you’re in, God is still faithful and God is always good. His love is unconditional, His mercy never ending. He is slow to anger and quick to forgive, He is kind and patient. He is everything we need in every single season. A season of new beginnings, He is there to usher us in. A season of confusion and heartache, He is the great comforter and God of peace, He calms my racing mind and softens my heart when disappointments could oh so easily harden my heart and turn me away from Him, I will never, because I have tasted and see that the Lord is good, I have tasted and see His love for me, so vast, so deep, so great, none can compare. The beauty of knowing Christ is more than enough, it is satisfying even when Satan tries to roar in my heart that I am alone, I know that I am never alone. Even when Satan tries to whisper in my heart that I should give up, I will chose to endure. You should too. Embrace whatever season you’re in with gladness of heart knowing that there is purpose in everything even when we don’t fully understand it yet.

God bless you and much love!

Tammy xx

Oh God, I sinned, now what?

I sometimes think about the goodness and mercy of God and I can’t help but get teary eyed. I have broken God’s heart so many times, I can’t comprehend how it is possible for Him to still want anything to do with me. I am a wretched sinner, pathetic, worthless in my eyes. I suck! Compared to who God is, I am dust. A speck on this earth. Yet, He cares for me. Yet, He knows the very number of hairs on my dyed blonde hair. He makes me smile whenever I think of Him. It’s better than any butterfly or romantic feeling a man has ever given me. His love is so much better than what I’m used to. His love is unending, enduring, passionate, breathtaking, exuberating! His love makes me feel whole again.

I’m not here to write a “mushy” piece, but the reason why I write about God’s love is because I experience every single day of my life. The bible says, “he who is forgiven much, loves much” and boy, have I been forgiven and delivered of much! I still fall short of his glory, I still stumble at times and even fall, but I get up, He helps me up. He is my strength, my peace, my joy, my everything.

If I could write a love letter to my Father it would not measure up or match up to what I feel for Him, my words fail me because I cannot express it enough, how can I possibly? His love is unmeasurable, indescribable!

I have sinned greatly against God, and this while already being a born again Christian, while also being actively involved in church ministry. I wondered how it is possible to even show my face before God. I was ashamed. I avoided my prayer room at all cost, I mean how dare I pray knowing what I did right? How dare I utter the words, “I love you Lord” when I did not love him in that moment of sin. My heart breaks at the thought of what sin does, it ruins relationships, it ruins the greatest relationship of all – a relationship with God, our Creator, our Father, the one who calls us His beloved. This is actually condemnation, but yet it was something I personally battled with.

I ended up ignoring God, I ignored praying, I ignored reading my bible. (This is nothing new to God, Adam and Eve ignored Him when they sinned). Until I eventually said, “I miss you, God” and I know He whispered in my spirit, “come dine with me, draw near to Me and I will draw near to you” that night I prayed, I worshipped, I was excited to dine with my King.

But it was still hard to accept His forgiveness. I would look at myself in the mirror and say, “ag”. I couldn’t stand looking at myself. I hated myself to be honest. I thought I’m the worst of all. Literally.

But then I came across a few great, godly men of the bible, Adam, Abraham, Noah, Moses, David, Solomon and Peter.

David, Solomon and Peter stood out the most for me, especially Peter. Here’s why:

David

Most of us know the story of David. He was a shepherd boy, no one really took note of him. But God did. God saw deeper than what man could, God saw the heart. He is known as “the man after God’s own heart”. He was chosen and anointed. He truly loved God. Yet, he sinned. He committed vile acts, abominations against God. And what’s worst he thought he could hide it…

Solomon

Solomon, David’s son, was chosen to build. That was what God intended for him, to build His temple. (This was in David’s heart, but God’s desire for Solomon to build it). Solomon started off well, he humbled himself by asking God for wisdom. He didn’t ask God for fame or riches or women, he asked for wisdom to rule God’s people. Yes, he was the wisest man to ever live, but still…he sinned. He had a weakness for women, foreign women at that. These foreign women, although beautiful and enticing and exciting, they were not of God, they had a different spirit, they worshipped foreign Gods, and Solomon approved of it, in fact he worshipped along with them, he broke the very first commandment – you shall have no other Gods before me (Exodus 20:3).

Peter

Now the reason why I liked Peter, is because he made me feel a whole lot better about myself! Jokes. Nah, Peter stood out because he was not just a great man of God or chosen by God, but he physically walked the earth with Jesus Himself. Imagine walking the earth every day with the Saviour of the world, the messiah and then denying him at the end of day. Imagine seeing the look on Jesus face, knowing that you promised him you would not deny him or betray him, but you did it three times.

David, Solomon and Peter had one thing in common: they were not ordinary men. They were men close to the father’s heart, men specifically chosen by God and men who have walked and seen the power of God manifest right before their eyes, men who have been in a close circle with Jesus. These were powerful men!

If I bring it to today’s life, these were men in ministry, Pastors, leaders, teachers, men in the spotlight, men that people looked up to, born again believers, yet in their born again state, they’ve fallen, not once – but a couple of times.

The ending for these men? Redemption. Forgiveness. A greater story to tell. A deeper love and appreciation for God. They have experienced the grace of God, the mercy of God. And the best part? They were never the same again. Sometimes the greatest mistake or sin we make can either cause us to completely miss the mark and fall away (Cain, Judas) or it can be our greatest testimony and create a greater love and appreciation for God.

I look at these imperfect men and I am encouraged. I am hopeful. That despite my short comings, there is nothing new under the sun, God is still the same God yesterday, today and forever. If he could forgive David and still refer to him as the man after his heart, if he could forgive Solomon for his thousands of foreign women, if he could forgive Peter and use him greatly, what makes you think he can’t forgive you?

The simple gospel is this: that while we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5:8), WHILE WE WERE STIL SINNERS while we were still in the act, doing the deed, thinking of it, Christ already died for it. It is out choice to accept that precious gift of salvation, and to walk in it, or to hide our sin in shame. I chose forgiveness. I chose grace.

Once you come to the realization that nothing can separate you from the love of God, you will never let a day pass you by without being in His presence.

2 Corinthians 12:9 – “but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.” (Amplified)

Hebrews 4:16 -“Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment].” (Amplified)

Matthew 18:21-22- “Then Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how many times will my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered him, “I say to you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven.”

If God requires us to forgive one another 490 times, and we are mere humans, imagine how much more so God can forgive us.

So, if you’ve fallen, don’t beat yourself up, why crucify Christ again? Accept His forgiveness and move on. Don’t sin again though, just because He forgives us does not mean we should take it lightly and deliberately go out and look for sin. If we fall short, there’s grace, but we shouldn’t take His grace for granted, like Saul did and others, (but that is a story for another day).

Let’s not give up, let’s make it to the end. It will all be worth it to hear: well done, good and faithful servant. So let the dark sin of the past go, and walk in His marvelous light.

The thing no one talks about

Disclaimer: This blog is not based on medical or professional advice or opinion, it is my own personal experiences.

Depression. It’s such an ugly word hey? It makes me think of everything dark and gloomy and it naturally makes me want to stay away from it. So, I actually don’t blame people who do in fact avoid those who are depressed. But does that make it right though? Avoiding those who actually need us the most? Does that not defeat the purpose of suicidal prevention? Why do people so often and so easily break down when someone commits suicide, yet that same people walk past those who were actually crying out for help while they were still alive.

They got ignored, they got told to “get over it” or “snap out of it” or even worst, “your reasons for being depressed are not valid” ouch. That has to cause someone to be even more depressed, right?

When someone is depressed, it’s not as easy as simply getting over it. It’s something that takes so much mental endurance and strength to even get out of bed in the morning, let alone face the world everyday. It’s an effort. I’m pretty sure that if it was so easy to just snap out of it, no one in this world would ever face depression.

The good news is that, it is beatable. It doesn’t need to be the end of us. It doesn’t need to haunt us all the days of our lives. It is something we can overcome. It is something we can beat and will beat. It doesn’t need to beat us and kill us. But how? How do we beat it?

I know how – get over it! I’m kidding. No, that’s not it. Face it. Face your depression head on. This thing wants to cripple us, make us feel small and insignificant and stupid and not validated, not worth it, rejected, worn out, it makes us feel the complete opposite of what we truly are. We are amazing creatures, capable of so much, we can do whatever we put our minds to. The demon of depression wants to keep us and hold us back, we can’t just get over it, it’s a monster we can’t just get over a monster, but we certainly can face it and it takes so much courage to get up and face that monster.

I take David as a perfect example, no he was not depressed at the time (later in his life, he surely was) but he faced Goliath head on. Depression is like Goliath, it mocks us, makes us feel intimated and weak, many avoid it and won’t face it, but we need to be like David and face that giant head on.

So, how do we face depression? We talk back to it. We throw it with stones. What stones? Words of affirmation, words of hope, words of encouragement. Our words is our sword and weapon. But we can’t just speak any kinds of words, we need to go to the main source, the word of God. We speak life to our depression. We speak hope and faith from the word of God. Depression cannot compare to the love of God. The love of God melts all depression. We need to not only speak the word, but we need to acknowledge that we are struggling with this monster, we need to speak up, we need to speak to people we can trust.

Speaking deals with so many things, because it brings things to light. However, be careful with whom you share this information with. Not everyone understands and not everyone has your best interest at heart. Sometimes we often think our friends and family understand and should understand, but the sad reality is that they don’t. Unfortunately, depression is a taboo subject in many people lives and it carries so much stigma to it. But when we have someone we can truly trust, then talk.

Another way is to journalize. Don’t keep those emotions in. That’s what depression wants, it wants you to feel bottled up so that you can one day explode and then you’re they crazy one. You’re not crazy, write it down. Write your feelings. Write your emotions. It’s OK. You’re not a crazy person, you’re just going through a crazy time and it has caused depression but depression is not who you are. You are so much more worth than what that mental illness allows you to believe.

I could go on and on and on about the many ways to conquer depression, but one fact remains – we need to face it. We need to pray. We need to stay in the word. Facing it, and acknowledging is the first step to getting healed. Prayer is a sign of strength and reliance on God and not ourselves its the most humbling experience to get down on your knees and pray. Staying in the word is what will keep us grounded, it’s what will give us that discernment to know when its simply depression lying to us, or when its the voice of truth whispering in our hearts.

I love you guys. God loves you. We’re gonna it make. Everything will be okay. For greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world!

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Where I Find My Rest

“In Your arms is where I find my rest, under the shadow of Your wings, in Your sanctuary, Your presence makes me whole. In Your arms is where I find my rest, I know that all Your promises will never be forgotten, Your word will always prevail.” – Where I find my rest, New Wine

This song ministered to my soul in a season of brokenness and drought. God’s presence, through that song, brought so much healing. So much comfort, knowing that He is my shield, my strength, my song, my salvation, my rest.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:30-31

I’m not gonna lie, I grew tired and weary. As young as I am, I felt old. Heaviness overloaded me, the cares of this world crept it. I found myself crying more than I was laughing. The burdens of what I saw around me, got to me.

The point I’m making is that life can be tough sometimes. It can be hard. It can feel so demotivating. And ultimately it can get to a point, where getting up in the morning is a struggle, even though you pray.

And that’s how I’ve been feeling. I struggled to get out of bed in the morning, struggled to eat, struggled to be myself. It felt like happiness was a distant memory.

But then, I stopped. Closed my eyes for a minute and remembered. Remembered who God is. Remembered what God’s word says. Remembered how in 2015 I’ve been here before, in a dark place and I’ve been delivered in 2016, 5 June 2016 to be exact. So, there was no way I would find myself going back to a place of emptiness.

That’s when I got the strength to smile and sing along to New Wine because truly Christ has delivered me. Despite my past failures, He adores me! He values me! He loves me!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2

So, what have I learnt these past few days? I learned to renew my mind with His word and what He says despite of what I feel. Cause if I go by what I feel, geh, then geez, I don’t think I would make it.

So, if you’re reading this and you’re at a dark place right now, I want to encourage you to get on your knees and pray, go to your room, find a quiet place and just be honest with God. Talk to Him. Tell Him about your hopes and dreams and failures. Allow Him to speak to you, too. Sometimes we get so caught up with talking and not enough time listening. He speaks. Trust me, He does. You just got to listen.

T

XX

Who is good?

What is it about the society that determines what’s good and what’s not. Yet somehow down the line, we’ve forgotten what’s godly and holy, or rather, we’ve replaced godliness with being “good” the truth is, is anyone ever good?

Jesus said, “why do you call me good? Only the Father is good.” (Mark 10:8)

There is no one righteous not even one. -Romans 3:10

If God says no one is good, then what truly determines good in someone’s eyes? To be good (in the eyes of society) is simply to not break any law. In other words, no one is truly good, for there is always some sort of law that we end up breaking.

But the fruits of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. – Galatians 5:22

The word of God mentions “goodness” as a fruit.

Therefore, it is possible to be good. But what type of goodness is the bible referring to?

Goodness refers to integrity, honesty, uprightness, probity. It is qualities of character. Goodness is the simple word for the general quality recognized in character or conduct.

To be good, starts in the heart. It’s wanting to do the right thing above what others might say or think of you. To be good, means to be honest. To be good means to not compromise. To be good is part of what makes you have character.

Godliness is what makes us become good and operate in goodness. Not on our own, but by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

God bless!

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

He makes all things beautiful in its time…

It’s been AGES since I’ve last written a special blog post. I know the reasons why… it’s not just simply writer’s blog. But it was because I was personally going through things that caused me to forget the purpose behind what it is to be known by God as His special treasure.

I won’t go into too much detail of what they were, but I can say one thing: God has never ceased to remain faithful. Because of His never-ending faithfulness, it has left me more and more and more in love with Him each day as I get to experience His never-ending tender mercies and love towards me.

I may have forgotten for a moment that I am His beloved. But He has never forgotten me. He has always been there. And He has been and IS a light in the darkness.

What I’ve learned is that God never changes. His love is amazing! We sing about it all the time, but do we ever experience it for ourselves? We read about it in the bible but have we ever taken it for ourselves and even more so expressed it to others?

Once we’ve encountered the love of God we are never the same again. It might not be an immediate change, but a change surely does take place. God has been healing me mentally, emotionally and has searched the depths of my heart, yet there is still more to be uncovered.

One thing though: God doesn’t lie. He said in His word He has a purpose for us (Jeremiah 29:11). He said in His word He will finish what He started in us. It might not be today, but it will happen. Have faith in God (Mark 11:22). Have hope in Christ. Have joy in the new season to come.

He makes all things beautiful in its time. – Ecclesiastes 3:11

God is not human that He should lie, not a human being that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and then not fulfill? – Numbers 23:19

I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will [continue to] perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return]. – Philippians 1:6 (AMP)

And not only this but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance;  and endurance, proven character (spiritual maturity); and proven character hope and confident assurance [of eternal salvation]. – Romans 5:3-4 

Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. – Romans 5:5 (AMP)

#trustGod

God bless!

xoxo

 

Kill ’em with KINDNESS

I think one of the greatest compliments I could receive is someone telling me I’m kind.

I’ve been praying a lot to be more kind in the way I approach people…and talk to people. And I see the fruit of it in such beautiful manifestations.

Today I was told, “the first time I met you I thought you were the kindest person” and over the weekend a total stranger told me, “wow, you are so kind” it made my day in both occasions, the reason they thought I was kind was simply because I smiled at them, a warm hello.

That’s all it takes. Smile at people, be welcoming and mean it, don’t be fake.

Kindness is such a beautiful characteristic that very few possess. The bible actually says kindness is a fruit of the spirit. Along with eight other fruits.

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control, against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22

Powerful.

Show kindness to others, not just by a smile, but by genuinely loving people. Love is the root of it all. Love flows to joy, peace, patience, kindness and the rest… ending in self-control.

Kindness takes self-control too.

Imagine wanting to snap back at that rude cashier for the way she treated you, but then choosing to have self-control and acting in kindness instead. It’s not easy. That’s why it’s a fruit.

How do fruits come about? It starts with a seed.

How do seeds grow into fruits? Nurturing it.

It doesn’t happen automatically. We are all a work in process.

#killemwithKINDNESS

-Tammy 🙂

 

 

People will always talk.

People will always have something to say about you, it’s what I noticed. Whether you do something amazing on Monday, by Tuesday you slip up, they won’t remember Monday, they’ll remember Tuesday. And they’ll always remember Tuesday even if you do something good again the Friday. Point is, do good anyway. Stop caring.

You fall, you get up.

I noticed that if you happen to say something that someone else doesn’t agree with, you’re called names that can actually hurt you. But they don’t care that they hurt you, they want you to know EXACTLY what they think of you in that moment.

What I learned is, keep going.

No matter how hard it gets, how inferior you sometimes feel… just keep going. Stand strong on what YOU believe in and leave the other people with their own little opinions and thoughts about you.

Point is, you’re always gonna seem annoying to someone else. But that doesn’t mean someone else thinks you’re pretty amazing.

God is the one that judges and searches the hearts, not man. Gods thoughts about us are so much higher than the thoughts others have about us.

So, make the most of each day, be a blessing, acting out in love at all times. Remember, it’s the way you respond you to situations that define you. Not the situation.

Keep in mind Paul in Acts 17 when he was persecuted by the church in Thessalonica, he did not give up despite their beatings and discouragement, he continued to Bureau and the people there loved him.

Be encouraged, someone is listening to you, might not be everybody but one soul is worth it all.

Tamica

Best friend!!! or… FOE?

How do you know if they’re really your friends? That’s a tough one. How does one really know. Well, by experience it’s been easier for me to dissect the difference between whose real and whose not. Although when the foes are revealed, it doesn’t get easy, that is why it’s so important to constantly have a heart that forgives easily, in order to prevent unforgiveness.

If your friend does any of the following:

1. smiles too much
2. Avoids or talks around your questions
3. Holds back
4. Flatters you

You could possibly be sitting down with a FOE instead of a friend.

S M I L E S 🙂 TOO MUCH

Nothing wrong with smiling. You should smile! And it’s natural to smile a lot around the people who make you happy. But beware of fake smiles.

Fake smiles, smiling to be polite instead of being honest. I prefer honesty. Quite too often, being honest is confused with being rude. But that is not the case. If your friends are not honest with you, are they really your friends? Because here’s a tip, if they are not being upfront honest with you in your face, I can almost guarantee you that they’re being honest about you to someone else. (cough, cough, GOSSIP.)

If your friends are honest with you even if you don’t wanna hear that kind of honesty, treasure that friend! Because chances are, their honesty is to protect you. I’d rather let an honest friend tell me to remove the sleep out of my eye than to smile with me in pictures pretending I have no sleep in my eye. That little thing is actually a big thing! Cause if they can’t even be honest about the little things…then eish. They won’t tell you the big things either.

AVOIDS OR TALKS AROUND YOUR QUESTIONS

Lol. If your friend is avoiding your questions, they are clearly lying. No one wants to be lied to.

If your friend is avoiding your questions or talking around it, chances are they have something to hide and chances are if you knew what it was you wouldn’t be happy. Here’s where honesty comes in again, I’d much rather prefer to be upset for a little while knowing the truth than feeling betrayed later on finding out the lie. Tell the truth to your friends, no matter what.

I have had my share of friends basically talking around what I asked them and I immediately know they’re lying. I don’t say it, but I know. What it can do to your friendship is eventually deteriorate it. What it can do to you personally, is cause you to become bitter and reluctant to trust people again. Therefore be careful who you trust and also guard your heart, don’t allow the seed of bitterness to take root in you, bitterness does no good but makes you feel miserable.

HOLDS BACK

If they hold back from telling you stuff… are you even friends?

Seemingly not including you in things, or last minute things. Nope, they’re a FOE.

FLATTERS YOU

Flattery is not godly. It is also backed up with hidden motives. If your friend is complimenting you on an outfit, your hair or just the person that you are – that’s good. There is a thing as genuinity. But there’s a fine line between flattery and complimenting. Flattery is over board. Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference. I personally get bored very easily by flattery and no I am not flattered easily.

Definition of flattery: (n) excessive and insincere praise, given especially to further one’s own interests.

Smh. 

Please just stop. If I encounter another flattery friend, I will unfriend you.

But now we’ve discovered just a FEW hints of a foe, let’s discover a genuine friend. Trust me, they’re rare, but they’re there. 🙂

Just some scriptures to take into consideration before I continue …

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times.

Proverbs 12:26

The righteous chose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends.

So what is a FRIEND?

Your true friends will pray for you. Your true friends will genuinely be happy for you when you succeed. Your true friends are proud of you. They love you enough to tell you when you’re wrong, because they don’t want to see you hurt or to see you make a fool of yourself. Your true friends will be loyal behind your back. Your true friend won’t feel the need to hide anything from you. Your true friend will go out of their way for you, you won’t be a trouble.

How do you know if you’re around true friends?

Simple. Do they delight in seeing you fall or are they pushing you to become all that God called you to be?

Before any other friend, you should develop a friendship with the Holy Spirit. He is the one who comforts like no one else can, listens like no one else can and He will never turn His back on us.

As Gods, special treassures, a chosen generation…we are called to be different. We are called to be loyal. To be genuine. To be happy for others. To be the kind of rare true friend for someone else. Yes, people WILL hurt you, but it’s the way you react to it that matters.

Be blessed!

#specialjewel

 

 

 

 

A Fight of Faith

Not too long ago I interviewed someone as part of my job, for the company I work for. I interview people who are inspiring, hoping to impact tomorrow, hence: #Inspiringtomorrow.

I got permission from both my work and the person to actually share her story on my own personal blog. The only reason why out of all the inspiring stories I’ve read, hers seems to truly stand out. I’ll be sharing what I wrote about her. I hope it motivates you as it has motivated me to always keep having faith in Someone GREATER than us. 🙂

***

Cindy-Leigh Meyer – from soccer star to business women

“To influence people to do hard work, to do sports, to be the best that they could be.”

That’s all Cindy-Leigh Meyer wanted to do and that is exactly what she is doing. Read more about her story…

Cindy-Leigh Meyer, described by her family as Dennis the Mennis because of her wild, hyper and mischievous personality, turned out not to be a bad thing, her parents decided to put that hyper to good use and enrolled her in sports. She was involved from a young age already in all kinds of sports, from hockey to netball, she had done it all. But the one sport that stood out from the rest was her love, passion and talent for soccer.

Her family was never rich but they had enough. She says that although they never had that much money they had something quite valuable and precious, they had a lot of fun and love. Her parents always supported her and her siblings and wanted the best for them.

“My dad was a soccer player and taught me everything I needed to know.” Cindy acknowledges that her father was her coach and the one who trained her. She then developed a love for it.

In her primary school days she was a top achiever and a leader as she was head girl in grade seven. She excelled in her academics and sports and was driven to not be like the rest of the crowd, she had a deep desire to be different and to make a difference. But she had fear that the future could change her success.

“Coming into high school I was fearful that I would be pressurised to do things I didn’t want to do, before you go into high school you always hear people say things like you’re gonna get bullied, you gonna get your head stuck in the toilet, you’re gonna fall pregnant, you’re gonna get into drugs. I didn’t want that for myself.”

Cindy had all this fear in her young mind but she decided to reach out to her mother.

“I remember having a conversation with my mother, I told her that I was scared high school would change me, and what she said to me always stuck with me, she said, “Cindy why allow someone to influence you, why don’t you just influence them?”

She stepped into high school with a new mind set not to lower her standards but to set a revolution and raise the standards in her high school.

She got it right and excelled once again, not only in sports but in academics. She had older girls looking up to her and this gave her the power to either influence them in the right direction or to be a bad influencer. Cindy admits that there were still parts of her personality that attracted the bad crowd and admits, “The influence I had on others could have gone either way, but then I had a change in my life.”

In September 2003 Cindy learned a lesson that she was not expecting.

“I had a girl in my class who was 14 at the time. She was always in and out of hospital because she had a heart disease. I would visit her in hospital and one day she had to go for a heart transplant operation. A few days later, a teacher came into our class and told us that she had died. The entire class froze and could not believe it. I remember bursting out in tears because I had no words.”

“At that age, you don’t expect someone so young to die. At that age, being 13, you think you’re invincible and that only old people die.”

It was at her funeral where Cindy made a decision to follow Jesus.

“I remember the pastor telling us at her funeral that before the operation she asked if she could invite Jesus into her life. That was very significant for me, it was then when I realised I needed Jesus and I didn’t want to live my life without Him.”

Cindy started influencing people in the right direction from then onwards. She also started focusing more on her academics than on her sports.

“I still went to house parties but I didn’t drink. I didn’t do drugs and I didn’t want a boyfriend. I was more focused on getting accepted into university and I didn’t want any distractions.”

Those distractions included her sports. Ironically she went on to study sports sciences and got accepted at the University of the Western Cape.

“Before coming to university, I had not played sports in a long time as I was focused on academics only. One day we had a sports day and my classmates were playing around with a ball, they passed it to me and I started tapping it and kicking it around, it was a natural thing to me, but I shocked my classmates, they didn’t know I could play.”

It was this random act that opened a door for Cindy. She was invited by a student to join the universities soccer club. She attended a training session and got approached by the manager who offered her a scholarship on her first day of training. Her soccer went to another level. She made a name for herself playing for the university and joined the athletic team in which she received another scholarship.

“This was a blessing as my dad came home with less than R100 on his salary because of deductions; we lived off my mom’s salary. But because of the scholarship, he never had to pay another cent again.”

She took part in tournaments and in 2010 she was called to go to a trial for the South African team. She made the team and she won the gold metal representing South Africa. Once again, she got approached to play in Pretoria for TUKS.

Despite her success she had trials thrown at her. She had injured her ankle and because of that did not make the trials in 2009, but she had faith.

After physio and positive confessions she recovered. Her coach recommended her to go for the trial even though they didn’t call her. She went and acted in faith, they called her and she made the call up in April 2010.

But yet again, her health took a knock.

“I remember lying in bed, crying because I felt like I was going to die. I could not get up and I remember my mom coming in my room telling me to call my major to cancel.”

She agreed with her mother. Minutes later her mother walked in saying, “no, the devil is a liar. Something great is coming.” And prayed for her daughter.

After she prayed she told her daughter to go play outside because “healed people don’t lay in bed.”

Although she was still feeling sick, she went on the plane to Johannesburg with the encouragement of her mother.  At the training camp, she felt better before the tournament in Botswana, they won the tournament and she was on her way to Pretoria.

“Pretoria was very difficult for me because it was the first time I’ve been away from my family. I also had to train really hard. I wanted to stand out from the rest because Pretoria had the best soccer players.”

Cindy continued to thrive, making the trials for the World Student Games. She then went to play in China, which came with its own challenges. She had been sick once again, but relied on God to pull her through.

“China was the worst. It was so hot. I really needed God to help me and he did, I played each and every game, 90 minutes. I can truly thank God for that.”

In 2011 she was scouted for the national team, Bayana Bayana. Competition became tough as all the girls on the team wanted to make it to the Olympic team and Cindy’s faith was tested yet again in 2011 when she injured her knee.

An injury that cost her getting cut from the team, a few months later, in 2012, which left her hopeless and despaired. She knew being 22 her chances were already over as coaches were looking for girls much younger than her. This left her feeling discouraged.

Things weren’t over yet. In 2012 she found herself playing a friendly game of soccer with a Canadian group. She played without trying to impress anyone, yet caught the eye of the coach who then asked her to join his soccer team in Canada.

“I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He recognized me from China and asked me to be in his team. I couldn’t believe it. I found myself on a plane to Canada three months later.”

“God came through at the last minute, when I was down and out.” She says.

It was a childhood dream that had come true for Cindy, being scouted to play in North America. However her expectations came crashing down, she discovered the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

“I thought I was going to be the star, but I was benched for a year because I came from another country, it is a rule to be benched when you’re from overseas or you were a star player.”

She continued studying a business degree, specialising in finance.

She wanted to go home and felt discouraged because she was not playing. She waited until the next season and still was not given a chance to play.  She became grumpy and started going to practise out of obligation and not love. She would put on a fake smile and go home wishing her teammates would lose.

She realised her heart was in the wrong place when she began attending a national training camp giving biblical principles to sportsman. It was then that Cindy discovered, soccer was her idol.

“Soccer was my idol. I breather, lived, slept, everything was soccer. I would use Jesus as a lucky charm. I would pray because I wanted to look better on the field. I would pray so we could win the game.”

“I became so engrossed with my image and how people would see me, I forgot about God. He was on my lips but not in my heart. It was very hard for me to realise soccer was my idol and I wasn’t grateful. I didn’t even notice I was privileged to come to Canada and study for free. I had so many blessings but I was clouded by one thing.”

Cindy then changed her heart and the way she saw life. She is now working at a financial institution and investments. She co-founded a company called, iGlobal Coach.

“We empower people how to communicate effectively and train them to be the best that they can be. My goal is to teach people how to be financially dependent.”

She relates to how her own family struggled with money and realises it was never money that was the problem it was the lack of knowledge to handle money wisely.

She closes off thanking God for His faithfulness, looking back on ten years since she left high school, a faith roller coaster ride but Christ was with her.

Cindy is now studying, running her own business and still plays soccer, but recreationally to keep fit.

Interview conducted and written by Tamica Mopp as personally told by Cindy Leigh Meyer.